PastorsWives.Com : Beth K Fortune

01 May

Something Just For You

“My husband asked me if I should start writing again, that I seemed, well . . . happy when I was writing.”

This was part of a conversation I had with a guest at our last writer’s group. After introducing myself and asking her what brought her to our group she shared this statement. She then went on to say that she works part-time as a realtor, homeschools her children, one of whom has autism, and is—a minister’s wife.

Yes, my thoughts exactly. She’s busy. Then add on the fact that she’s a minister’s wife and she becomes very busy. But what caught my attention was the fact that her husband noticed something about her. That there was something that seemed to make her happy—when she was doing something for herself: writing.

I encouraged my new friend to come back and join us and to keep writing, because as a minister’s wife we need something that’s ours. Did I get an Amen?

Yes, being a wife and mother or grandmother is rewarding and so is serving with our husbands. But that’s what we are doing—serving with our husbands. But what about ourselves?

One thing that can help us balance our crazy lives is to have something that we can call our own.

What do you do that’s for you, and for you only?

It could be sewing, knitting, or scrapbooking. What about painting, gardening, playing an instrument, or writing? And DIY projects, there are so many to choose from. Do you like to go to yard sales with your girlfriends, be a part of a book club, or what about an exercise class at the local YMCA? The point is we need to have something that’s ours to immerse ourselves in that gives us enjoyment and satisfaction.

I was like my new friend at one time. I was working full time, raising our family, keeping the home fires burning and serving with my husband. There was no outlet for me. I found myself close to the dreaded burnout. What about you? Do you know without another thought that something you enjoy doing? Or do you need to ponder the idea.

Begin by dusting off the cobwebs of your mommy/wife heart and think about the things you enjoyed doing as a child.

You may not be able to turn cartwheels at your age, but you may remember that you loved being outside. Did you like to color? Oh my, the adult coloring books are everywhere now. What about baking, not cooking for the family, but baking, or better yet gourmet cooking? Well, then sign up for a baking or cooking class.

We are all “fearfully and wonderfully made,” (Psa. 139:14) and God has given each one of us things we enjoy doing. And we’re all different. Like today at lunch by husband looked out the window at our neighbor digging holes and planting new perennials in his flowerbed. My husband’s comment was, “Why would anyone enjoy doing that!” I, being a gardener who loves the outdoors, was going to challenge his statement. But then he went on to say that others must think he’s crazy for spending four hours outside hitting a small white ball until it goes into a tiny round hole. Yes, my thoughts exactly.

Let me encourage you today that if you don’t have an interest that’s yours, then pray. Ask God to show you something that you could do and would enjoy—something just for you.

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20 March

Bookends

“And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken,” (Eccl. 4:12 ESV).

She tried to hold her emotions in check but it wasn’t long before the sobs escaped and traveled across the airwaves through our phones. Her heart was broken and I wanted to be there for her. Earlier that same day I received a text from another friend who was on hold with her bank as she proceeded to file a fraud claim. I wanted to be there for her too, if not in person at least to be praying for her and offer her emotional support.

Life is hard. We need people who will walk with us and be there for us. The only problem is we have a tendency to think we have to face life all by ourselves. Peter tells us in I Peter 5:8 that our adversary, the devil, “prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” If we are trying to face life alone, then we are setting ourselves up as an easy target.

He is a subtle enemy. One of the ways he works is by using the power of suggestion—planting a negative thought in our mind or a lie, especially when we are going through a difficult situation—and then he just lets us run with it. Other ways in which he works is by making us think no one cares and by taking our joy away. Yes, he is waiting.

But, if we surround ourselves with others who will encourage us, friends who can and will shed the light of truth on the lies we have believed, and pray for us, the enemy won't be able to hold us in his grasp.

I love the scripture found in Ecclesiastes that says “And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken,” (Eccl. 4:12 ESV). Keeping this scripture in mind I reached out to two dear friends who I knew would love, support, and encourage me. They are my bookends. Both of them in their own way walk with me and help me to see and embrace truths not lies from the enemy.

As I look around my home I see a number of different pairs of bookends nestled in with our books. Some are ornate, some colorful, and others are simple. I have heavy ones for larger books, ornate ones that compliment some of our older editions, and some fun ones like Winnie the Pooh that hang out with my children’s books. They all have a purpose.

It’s the same with our bookends. We may want to have more than one pair for the different areas of our lives. I now have bookends to walk with me in my writing world, in my ministry, in my family, and some bookends that I have known for years that I couldn’t imagine life without them standing beside me.

With these confidants by my side I put the enemy on notice by saying, "I am NOT alone and you CANNOT overpower me, for two can resist you, but a cord of three strands IS NOT quickly torn apart . . . I now have my bookends!!!"

Are you walking this journey called life alone? Did you feel like no one cares about you? Are the voices and the lies of the enemy taking away your joy? Well . . . go get your bookends! These will be your sturdy friends who will hold you up as you add chapter after chapter to your book of life.

You don't want to live without them!

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20 February

Lord, Give Me Patience

“Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus.” Romans 15:5 NKJV

With one eye on the clock and the other on my toddler, I watched her tiny index finger and thumb select one cheerio and eat it. After looking around the room and chewing, she would pick up another one and eat it. She had no concept of time or the understanding that I needed to get us out the door to begin our day. As she chewed, she would push on my leg with her foot as I sat by her highchair. It was a morning ritual and nothing was going to hurry her while she enjoyed each individual cheerio.

She didn’t eat much, but what she did eat, she savored. With that little foot still resting on my leg I watched the clock and coaxed her to hurry. To speed things up I tried giving her my breakfast but she was not interested. Her little stomach was happy with her small meal that seemed to satisfy her.

This sweet, but at the time stressful, memory often sweeps across my mind when I’m talking to a new Christian. At times I’ll have someone come to me for advice or to share a concern and I try to hurry things along. I want to slide them a plate full of dos and don’ts along with Scripture as well as give them an example of someone in the Bible when they just aren’t ready for all of that information yet. They need for me to give them a little at a time.

Patience. That’s when I call out to God for more patience. Sometimes when we are in the ministry we have a tendency to forget that some people who come across our paths didn’t grow up attending church and aren’t familiar with Scripture or many of the people that are written about in the Bible. They also aren’t in a hurry. What they bring to us is important to them, and they need to know that we care and want to help.

When talking to a new Christian we need to remember:

Not to assume they know the Bible as well as we do.
To listen to what they are saying and don’t hurry them along.
That at first, a little is better than a lot. Keep things simple.
Not to use a lot of “churchy” words.
· To pray, pray, pray . . . not just for patience, but also for wisdom.

As pastors’ wives, women will sometimes bring things to us that they don’t want to discuss with our husbands so we need to take our roles seriously. Next time that dear one wants to talk to you, and if you know she is a new Christian, just prepare yourself to settle in beside her and feed her a little at a time. And don’t watch the clock. God is using you to care for this child of His just like He used me to care for my toddler—with patience and love!

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19 December

Surviving Christmas . . . Mary’s Way

As I look over my list of things to do for our upcoming Holiday Women’s Ministry event my soul is already yearning for January. For in January the hustle and bustle of the holiday season is over and I can just settle in and rest.

But rest is not on today’s agenda. With Andy Williams singing throughout the day that this is the most wonderful time of the year (and he croons it out eight times in the popular Christmas song) all I can think of is this is the most hectic time of the year.

Whether your husband ministers to a large congregation or small, there are so many demands and expectations put on us as minister’s wives. In a large church there are more events to help with and attend, and in a small church . . . well, we just about do everything.

So how can we get through the Christmas season without wishing it was January already? By following Mary’s example: treasure and ponder.

A lot had happened in this young women’s life. It started with a visit from a real angel telling her she would have a baby, without ever being with a man, and not just any baby, but one who would “be great and will be called the Son of the Most High,” (Luke 1:32).

You know the story. Mary travels with Joseph to Bethlehem, has the baby in a manger, shepherds come and visit and tell her about the angel that visited them and then how the skies were filled with angels as they sang, “Glory to God in the highest,. . .” and then how they followed a star to Bethlehem and found her and the baby.

I don’t know if they barged in after running to see what the angel said was true or not, or if they gently pushed open the door with reverence to see the Holy child, but one thing is for sure, they probably became very animated and excited as they retold their story to Joseph and Mary.

When Mary heard all of this the scripture says she “treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart,” (Luke 2:19).

I think that is the key to surviving a busy Christmas season. We need to take time to ponder the things we have treasured in our hearts concerning Jesus and His birth.

I’m sure we all have our own personal reactions to the Christmas story found in Luke 2. Being a prodigal daughter, and coming back home to the Lord in the fall of the year, the next couple of weeks were unexplainable as I experienced the birth of Christ in new heart-felt way as I made Jesus not only Savior but Lord of my life. The story was more meaningful and continues to be to this day. I treasure my salvation and the fact that God came to earth in the form of a man to live on earth and then die for me. I ponder what all He went through, what He did, and now how He continues to be with me.

What have you treasured in your heart concerning Jesus? Take time to ponder on these things this Christmas season. Mary did. She had much to treasure. And as children of God, the One who sent Jesus from His home in heaven to this earth to live and die for us, we too should have much treasured in our hearts.

Yes, January is coming, but I’m not going to wait until then to settle in and rest. In the midst of the busiest time of the year, I’m going to make it a point to be settled and rest in the fact that Jesus really is the reason for this busy season and that it is because of God’s love I am His child.

Now that is a lot to ponder . . .

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21 November

Dodging Pity Puddles

"Hello."

"Not yet, no one is here."

"Five minutes."

"I hope so. This was a crazy week and as you know, it took all I had in me to prepare. I sure do hope someone shows up."

"Thanks honey, I will call on my way home . . . it could be sooner than later."

Ever been there? You've had a busy week and it took all you could do to prepare for a meeting, Bible study, or get-together and then either no one shows up, or just a few.

I have, obviously, and it was just a few weeks ago. As I sat in a chair looking out the window waiting for at least one car to pull up I felt it—that familiar tap on my heart when the Lord needs to get my attention. I knew my attitude was not good when I was on the phone with my husband, but at the moment I felt I had good reason to feel as I did.

As the minutes ticked, God took this time as a teaching moment. You know, the moments you take with your children or grandchildren when they are doing something wrong or inappropriate and you guide them. Well, that was where I was. He had my full attention and was going to teach me something right then.

In those minutes He gently reminded me that this wasn’t about me. I know, in ministry we are well aware that we signed up for “it’s not about me,” but sometimes we get tired and we fall into a pity puddle and forget. Yes, I said pity puddle, instead of party. Puddles are stinking and stagnating, and that was about my attitude at the moment.

But our Heavenly Father is so gracious and if we will give Him our attention for those teaching moments, He will not only guide us, but prepare us and give us the energy for the work He has called us to, as well as pour over us His peace.

In those quiet moments of waiting He reminded me that this was His work and the dear ones I was waiting on, they were His also. He didn’t prompt me to teach this particular Bible Study for the numbers so that my worth could be validated. No, He prompted me to teach for many reasons; to use the gifts He had given me, to begin to grow our new women’s ministry, to bring together these ladies for instruction and fellowship. If only one came, then my preparation was for her. It wasn’t about my performance or their attendance but about obedience.

While in the midst of ministry I think we can stumble and fall face first into a pity puddle. But again, our Heavenly Father is full of grace and love. He will always give us what we need when He has asked us to serve Him. Our part is to be obedient and keep our eyes focused on Him, then it doesn’t matter the outcome.

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good word in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ,” (Phil 1:6 ESV).

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